Re:life with Karmic Gacha (Modern Family)

Chapter 446: Shock.

[Edward POV]

Finneas and Alex held hands as they stood in the middle of the living room, with all of us sitting on the couch in front of them.

"So, we have something to tell you." Finneas said with a smirk.

Jenna guffawed and said, "Oh my god. We already know." Everyone chuckled teasingly.

Enid threw her hands up and said, "Please. Spare us the tiny details."

"Hey!" Finneas snapped at her, clearly dumfounded. "It’s not tiny."

"Well, small. Whatever." Enid teased.

I laughed and said, "You really don’t have to do this."

"We want to do this." Finneas said as he looked at Alex warmly. Alex returned the same gaze and said, "We thought, since you all have been here since the beginning, it’s appropriate for you to be here at the end."

"What?" I leaned forward slightly in shock. Enid was stunned. Jenna dropped her potato chip. Elsa and Jacob held each other’s hand tightly, palm sweating.

"At the end?" Enid asked.

Alex nodded and said, "We’re breaking up."

"WHAT?!" Jenna, Enid, Jacob and Elsa shouted at the same time. Jenna stood up and said, "What happened Alex? Was Finneas really that disappointing?"

"Hey! I’m still here!" Finneas snapped again, looking pitiful.

"No. It’s not that he was disappointing." Alex said, a bit flustered. "He’s average... that’s not the point."

"The point is, when we decide to go through with it, we can’t actually go through... with it." Finneas said with a slight disappointment.

"Wait. So you didn’t do it?" Enid asked on our behalf since we were all confused.

"No, we did it." Alex replied, slightly flabbergasted. "But. It felt so wrong."

"And so awkward. So awkward and so wrong." Finneas added, shuddering slightly. "Even a little taboo."

"Isn’t that a turn on?" I asked.

"Shut up Newgate you freakazoid." Finneas scolded me. "For a normal person like us, it’s a turn off."

Alex added, "We stopped mid-way and we didn’t continue since it felt so wrong."

"Why– Why does it feel wrong?" Jenna asked with confusion and frustration.

Finneas and Alex turned to each other and Alex said, "I don’t know. I guess it’s because we’re really good friends."

"Is it pressure? Like first timer pressure?" Elsa asked, ignoring their reason.

"Yeah... We didn’t have that." Jacob teased Elsa, holding her slightly which made her giggle in disbelief.

"No... We were pretty excited at first. I don’t feel any pressure." Finneas replied.

Alex nodded and said, "Yeah."

"So, it’s like Joey and Rachel, when they were finally going to do it, they laughed instead." Enid said, tilting her head slightly with her index finger on her chin.

Alex pointed her fingers at Enid, "Yes. Exactly like that."

Finneas also nodded in agreement with them.

I sighed and stood up. "Well, I don’t really know what to say here. Congrats? My condolences? I hope you wore protection?"

"We did." Alex said decisively.

"So, are you going to break up?" Enid asked, standing beside me.

"Yeah. We’re just going to stay friends." Alex replied. Finneas nodded along, and from the looks on his face, he didn’t feel bad about this.

"Poor Alex. You wasted your first time with this creep." Jenna comforted Alex.

"Hey! I’m not a creep!" Finneas snapped, but no one paid any attention to him and was comforting Alex.

Jacob and I lost interest and we went to play basketball instead on the court outside.

Several fans saw me playing and took pictures, like I was a tourist attraction exhibition.

I didn’t mind it though, I even gave them a show by lifting my shirt a few times to wipe my sweat. Two girls fainted, but it was fine... the robots caught them and brought them to the medical bay.

...

At noon, after sending all of my friends– except for Alex and Jenna– away, I was preparing to get some lunch when a few visitors arrived at the place.

"WHERE IS SHE?!" Gloria shouted frantically, carrying a baby in her hands, and rushed in her high heels to get to where Haley was.

Jay, Cam, Mitch, Manny, and Lily followed her quickly from behind. They went past me without even giving me a glance, charging straight to the girl who had an accident last night.

[Haley’s commentary]

"The attention was great... For about an hour." Haley said, crossing her legs and sighing.

-Cutscene-

Haley was in the bathroom, washing her face. Phil and Claire suddenly rattled the door from outside.

"Haley! Are you okay?! ARE YOU HURT!?" Phil shouted, panicked.

"What–" Haley grimaced and ignored him.

"OH MY GOD! SHE FELL INTO THE TOILET!" Claire guessed loudly.

"I’M KICKING DOWN THE DOOR!" Phil shouted, and the door was pushed for a bit. Then, the sound of Phil groaning in pain was heard.

"Why is the door so strong?!" Phil whined in pain. Haley quickly opened the door without washing her face. Claire saw her and hugged her immediately, saying, "Honey. SHHH!! It’s fine now. Mommy’s here."

Phil rolled on the ground and reached for Haley’s legs. "Daddy’s here too."

"Mom! Dad! I’m fine! You’re embarrassing me!" Haley said with astonishment.

Edward walked towards her as he heard the sound, and saw her with her face looking like a mess. She yelped and rushed back inside the bathroom.

"Phil, are you okay?" Edward asked casually as Phil was still lying on the floor.

"I need a doctor." Phil whimpered.

-Cutscene ended-

"Not only did Edward see my face without makeup now, that’s not the craziest thing they had done!" Haley complained with a dissatisfied face.

-Cutscene-

On the bed, Claire slept next to Haley. Phil slept on the floor next to Haley.

"There’s a lot of room! You don’t have to share with me!" Haley complained.

"Honey! What if you have a nightmare?" Claire asked, her voice shivering. "You can have PTSD!"

"Oh my god! She has venereal disease too!?" Phil exclaimed loudly.

"DAD!" Haley hit him in the face with a pillow. Phil’s face went blank and he said, "Oh. PTSD. Sorry hun, I was half asleep."

-Next cutscene-

In the morning, at breakfast, Claire cuts off Haley’s waffles for her, feeding her and almost putting her on the lap and burping her.

Phil kept hovering around her, bringing everything she wanted like a butler.

Haley kept getting more and more embarrassed as it was all happening in front of Edward and his friends.

"I’m here too by the way." Alex waved at her parents, but they ignored her.

Edward just laughed as he saw everything.

-cutscene ended-

"I swear to god. They were making me think that I actually had died last night, and this is hell." She added.

Haley gasped in realization, her eyes widened slightly.

[commentary ends]

"Edward, help!" Haley called softly as she was surrounded by her family members, her eyes begging me to intervene.

But I smirked teasingly and left her alone. She gasped, acting as if she was betrayed.

After talking with them for a while, Gloria told me the baptism ceremony would be held next week.

"I have time." I mumbled. "I can do the trip first then come back for the Godfather spoof."

...

"Why do you like spending time with them, even though you could’ve been spending time with me?" Barbara pouted after I sent the family away. We talked for hours, joking and setting plans.

"Well Barb, you have to understand something. They are like my second family." I said, bopping her nose.

She grimaced and said, "My family should be your second family. Not your ex’s family."

"Aww, is someone jealous?" I teased her a bit, poking her cheek with my finger. She snapped her jaw, trying to bite them, but mostly just warning me not to do it.

She turned her head away, and I kept inching closer to them. "Well Barbara. I hate to say this, but you’ve never tried to introduce your family to me."

"HAH!" She gasped. "That’s because we’re just dating."

"See. You have now answered your own questions." I said playfully. Barbara furrowed her eyebrows and got a bit irritated.

"Still. It’s weird. Are all of your exes fine with this?"

I remembered that except for Abby, almost everyone has a problem with it. Some minor, some major.

"No. No one has a problem with it." I said flatly.

She narrowed her eyes at me and said, "You’re lying!"

"Alright. Some problems. But not big problems." I said, placating her.

She calmed down as I brushed her hair with my hand. "Um, stop petting me like a dog." She said playfully.

I took my hands off and snarked, "Well, you do like collars, so..."

She gasped, smiling slightly, "No I did not! I’ve never worn any collars." She pinched me, and I laughed.

That afternoon, Frankie gave me the summary of everything we had earned in the last three days.

"500 million dollars in profit from merch sales, food, and festivities stalls." She said with a wide smile. "Ten more of these concerts, you will finally be able to get out of the red line in your account."

"Too bad, I’m going to create more debts after this with my new plans."

Frankie was baffled as she heard it and begged, "Please take some rest."

I was taken aback for a bit. "What? Frankie, I’m just joking."

"I know." She held her pregnant stomach slightly. "But, I also know you’re serious. And I can’t be worried for you all the time. Since it will probably be bad for the baby."

I went silent for a while. "Wait, where is my dad anyway?" I asked in confusion. He wasn’t around for the entire concert, leaving his pregnant wife alone for days.

"He’s back home, building a crib, and baby proofing the house." Frankie replied.

"That took him three days? I can do that in an hour." I snorted slightly.

...

Space Research Lab, located in the desert near Death Valley, California.

Dr Sheldon Cooper, Dr Leonard Hofstader, Dr Rajesh Koothrapali and Howard Wolowits stood by the whiteboards with the rocket’s calculation and were discussing.

I walked into the room, which startled them.

"Hey, three of you don’t have any clearance here." I said casually, sipping a cup of tea. "You know the rules, now you’re open to ridicule." I added playfully.

Sheldon approached me, wearing his Flash t-shirt and a lanyard around his neck.

"Excuse me sir, I resent the clearance pyramid you have set up. How is it reasonable for me being a level 5 but I couldn’t get into the 4.5 level?" Sheldon said begrudgingly.

"Because you never included decimal points in your contracts." I teased.

He gasped in shock, the short statement dug deep into his pride as a professional contract maker.

"Sheldon, stop bothering the man. He’s tired from all the performances he has done." Leonard said casually.

"Performing, more like caterwauling." Sheldon snorted.

"Whoa–" Leonard, Raj and Howard were shocked by Sheldon’s insult.

"Oh dear." Sheldon realized what he had done, his face silently accepted his fate.

"You know the rules Sheld-On." I said with a serious expression.

"I know." Sheldon sighed before snapped, "And don’t start that again. I’m Sheldon, not Sheld-On."

"Whatever you say Shelly. Now go into the timeout corner."

"FINE!" he stomped to the side and put his face facing the wall. Everyone laughed at him while I checked on the calculations.

"We can run a test today." I said, shocking everyone.

"Are-Are you sure? Don’t we need more simulations?" Rajesh said fearfully.

Howard said, "What about the astronauts?"

Leonard interjected, "If we made a mistake, the cost will be deadly. You will burn 5 billion dollars you spent on creating the rocket."

Sheldon shouted without taking his face off the corner, "Not to mention, the test will need to be approved by the United States Government."

"I already got permission from the government." I said casually.

"Really?" Leonard asked in shock. I reached into my pocket and took out a piece of paper.

Leonard squinted his eyes as he read it. "It’s just a paper with the words, "I can do whatever I want" and your signature on it."

"Let’s run the test!" I decided firmly.

We would be sending a test dummy into space instead of the real people. It was actually advanced androids disguising themselves as test dummies. They would relay real life data to my computer so I could check it.

We would be shooting the rocket straight to the moon today. The launch wasn’t broadcasted live, but it was still exciting for the researchers who had worked on the project for over two years now.

I watched the rocket going up in the sky in excitement. Instead of the fiery thruster a normal rocket used, this one has a more elegant launch.

Soft blue fire lit up around the thrusters, and it used the electromagnetic force to propel itself against Earth’s gravity.

The rocket flew in the air in just ten seconds. It reached the outer space in just 2 minutes when the other rockets needed 18 minutes.

"Calibrating to the moon. Finding optimum orbital route." Leonard said as he inspected the AI processing. "We will arrive on the moon in two hours."

"This is so exciting." Rajesh jumped in excitement.

The news of the test launch shook the upper level elites of the country, and also the world. Since 1972, there has been no lunar expedition team that went to the moon.

They dropped some robots there, but not humans. If the rocket test was successful, the important figures in the world would know that another lunar expedition team would get up there.

A lot of governments contacted me, trying to get their astronaut included in the flight.

But for now, I ignored them all.

"The rocket reached the moon! It landed perfectly!" Leonard shouted, and everyone cheered.

Some hugged me, some jumped around in joy.

The desire that was left behind in 1972 would finally be able to be done again. To create a new history.

"Maybe we can go further. To Mars!" Sheldon said with excitement.

The latches on the rockets opened, dropping down some structural beams and equipments for the androids to begin building the moon base.

"Hey, should we check if there really was Hitler’s base on the dark side of the moon?" Howard said jokingly.

"There were none." I said with disappointment. "I’ve checked."

"When?" Howard was confused.

I actually did it a few weeks ago. I built a vacuum sealed room, opened up a portal, and explored the moon in my new lunar suit. I have explored 50% of the dark side of the moon, and found nothing.

"Hey look!" Rajesh saw something on the android camera screen. "There’s footsteps there."

"Is it the past astronauts’ footsteps?" Leonard asked hurriedly.

"No! This one, seems too big to be human."

The US government asked us to hide our discoveries for now. Instead of fighting them on this, I decided to take my break instead. I owed it to Frankie.

...

[General POV]

"He will be gone for twenty four hours again." Robin said, her eyes turned serious. She was in her room, calling all of the other androids.

Woo-Jin said flatly, "He will be pissed off when he realises it."

"But it is necessary." Han Xiao was leaning on the pillar, crossing his arms and closing his eyes in deep contemplation.

"By taking this opportunity, we will be betraying his trust." Ban said with a sigh. "The boss can be pretty scary when he’s pissed off. Last time, he broke Jin’s arm with a single sword strike."

"We were training. I couldn’t handle his strength." Woo-Jin said quickly.

Grid said, "I want to do it, but at the same time, I don’t want to take responsibility for it."

Mikasa said, "I need to protect his loved ones."

Zero Two nodded along, "Me too. So I can’t do it."

KingPin and Matt nodded too, and they disconnected the call after Matt said, "New York needs us. KingPin is running as Mayor, and we can’t spare the time."

"So it’s me, Ban, Han, and Woo-Jin." Robin said with a sigh. "I hope we can pull it off."

"What’s the plan again?" Ban asked with a squint. "We will terrorize Washington?"

"As aliens." Robin replied.

"The plans sound really dumb." Ban said flatly.

"The master said before. Humanity won’t unite unless they are facing a common enemy. We will show them the enemy." Robin said with furrowed eyebrows. "The master understands human beings. We don’t."

Robin has greatly misunderstood Edward’s quotes. The plans came from watching the movie, ’Independence Day’ while she was still in her pupa stage.

By creating a common enemy, they would strike fears into the heart of humanity, thus creating a worldwide effort to be better, or be eliminated.

"We have made the ship." Han said. "It looks like the boomerang UFO you looked online."

Robin nodded in satisfaction and said, "The master will be proud of us."

Edward was planning for his trip to go to meet the pink haired kid. Sage claimed he could understand Edward, so Edward was intrigued.

This time, Edward didn’t bring any equipment with him. No survival kits, no air filters or full suit. He would just be bringing his body there.

"Remember. You have seven days this time. Not a month." Sage told him seriously.

"It’s fine. Seven days is already long enough." Edward said dismissively.

"And all of your duplicates will be shut down, so make sure to handle things before you go." Sage reminded him.

The church of Neverland, the portal, every duplicate he has in the world has to take a day off. Even the duplicate directing the Black Widow movie.

"Hopefully the world won’t change too much when I come back." Edward chuckled and left through the world travelling ticket.